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Episodes
Three chums of dubious expertise and experience attempt to read the entirety of Homestuck for (mostly) the first time. One chapter at a time. Maybe at some point they'll even understand what's going on.
Episodes

Nov 23, 2020
Nov 23, 2020
58 min
Chime the bells for it is the dawning of a new act! The chums get introduced to a brand new character (finally) and all of her many fun and interesting hobbies and of course instantly all fall in love with her because she's so cool. This has been a simulation of what it'd be like if this podcast was run by the gestalt consciousness of Reddit.
Intro and Outro Music: Carefree Victory by Mark Hadley, Andrew Huo and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/carefree-victory-3

Nov 9, 2020
Nov 9, 2020
1 hr 9 min
The chums breathe a sigh of relief as they make it to the end of yet another act and decide to talk about internet archiving instead of whatever closes out this narrative arc. It's just more vagabond and vague foreshadowing, honestly.
Bonus Fun: The Unofficial Homestuck Collection https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/
Additional Listening:
Vagabounce by David Ko https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/vagabounce-3
Explore by George Buzinkai and Michael Guy Bowman https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/explore-3
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020
1 hr 2 min
Rejoice! The chums draw close to the end of act 2, and the only thing that stands in their way is a deep, personal look at our favorite avatar of the author's hand: the Winding Vagrant or whatever. Then they finally find their places in the extended cosmos with a quiz. How will they deal with having all their inner mechanics laid so bare? This is more intrigue than the comic provides!
Bonus Fun: The Extended Zodiac Quiz http://hs.hiveswap.com/ezodiac/index.php
Additional Listening: Upward Movement (Dave Owns) by Robert Blaker https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/upward-movement-dave-owns-3
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Oct 5, 2020
Oct 5, 2020
57 min
This week the chums get deep in it with the drama as they learn the true history of Homestuck's most maligned music artist. And then because they get easily distracted they look at Homestuck fan projects and are introduced to the amusing horror of the extended zodiac.
Additional Listening:
Skaian Dreams (Remix) by Bill Bolin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGkfkiaPoV0
John Sleeps - Skaian Magicant by Malcolm Brown, Mark Hadley, and Toby Fox https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/john-sleeps-skaian-magicant-2
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020
36 min
Hey and welcome to Fuck Wizards the wizard hate cast, fuck wizards. Not to be confused with Fuck-Wizards, the wizard fan cast. This week the chums aren't given much by the comic itself, so instead they do a deep dive into the symbology of puppets and one of Hussie's earlier works of magic: a curiously racist mock-em-up of a dumb wizard book.
Content warning for racism.
Additional reading: https://mrcheeze.github.io/andrewhussie/comic.html?comic=wizardology (cw: racism)
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020
37 min
Welcome back to your regularly scheduled pain! This week the chums, er, I mean BOSOM FRIENDS, don't feel very welcomed by a comic, I mean PICTURED STORY, that doesn't seem to like them very much. They find themselves confronted with repeating jokes, ancient jokes, repeating jokes, and a continued complete lack of humour or even things happening. I would put some kind of SAW joke here but I have too much self-respect.
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Aug 17, 2020
Aug 17, 2020
1 hr 21 min
This week the comic refuses to provide the jokes to the chums so they don't either, instead having a frank, and frankly overdue, discussion on homophobia, the internet, fandom, projecting your values onto creators you like, and the gay singularity. Please have higher standards, you deserve better.
Content Warning for homophobia from 43:00 to 45:13, and discussion of homophobia throughout
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3

Aug 10, 2020
Aug 10, 2020
47 min
Literally nothing happens in this week's reading, so the chums take a nice break by reading through the entirety to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff (whatever's officially free online at least). Is it as good as they remember, or has time taken the shine off the teacup? You have pattern recognition you can probably guess.
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
Terrible Mario Paint remix by Dijon Du Jour

Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020
51 min
It was a really great painting. Well, less of a painting and more of a poster. But it was a really great poster. The wizard looked like a really stereotypical wizard in a robe and floppy magic nightcap but the dragon was really weird and willowy. The wizard was standing on a hill holding his staff up and there was lightning coming down like KRAK-BOOM but the lightning wasn't directed at the dragon or anything I think the dragon and the wizard were on speaking terms. And every night this giant poster hung at the head of my bed in a way that said "Oh yeah, this bed is protected by sweet wizards." It only fell on me once. Oh yeah and, uh, the chums something something interminable loredump, GameFAQS, Hussie will be prosecuted for his crimes.
Content warning for homophobia
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
Additional Listening:
Skies of Skaia by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/skies-of-skaia-3

Jul 20, 2020
Jul 20, 2020
1 hr 15 min
The chums once again find themselves mired in strife and flash interactions as they brace for an impact of an infodump-y variety. Until then they take the time to learn about electrical engineering (thanks heave), the finer points of strife allocation (thanks heave), and the very nature of experimental storytelling formats (no thanks dijon). There's only one thing that can save them, though, and that's to become that which disgusts them most.
There are some new Hussies in town.
Plus: Goodreads reviews? And a special surprise
Intro and Outro Music: Showtime (Imp Strife Mix) by Malcolm Brown, George Buzinkai, and Curt Blakeslee https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/showtime-imp-strife-mix-3
Additional Listening:
- Aggrieve by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/aggrieve-3
- Fanfare by Curt Blakeslee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1EALOpEd3M
- Nannaquin by Mark Hadley https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/nannaquin-3
